Our Inner Voice

Our inner voice


‘The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.’ Peggy O’Mara

Have you ever stopped to think about how we got our inner voice? How it might be attached to our self esteem. Why do we see the world the way we do? How come we we work for a salary? Did our Dad work for a salary? Is there a reason why we stay in our home town all our life? What did you learn from your parents? Did you listen to what they told you? Did you observe their behaviour? What part of your upbringing had the greatest influence on you? Is this why we do the things we do? Think about it. What do you tell your self? Do you have positive or negative self esteem?

I found this quote on face book and wondered who Peggy O’Mara was and I found out she was the former editor and publisher of Mothering Magazine.

Check her out, here is the link to her latest video and website.


Thinking about our inner voice.

It got me thinking about our inner voice and the effect it may have on us… the conversations we have with ourselves.

First of all let’s be straight: I am not giving parents a hard time here, we are all human with our discrepancies and imperfections. There are no degree’s at our universities that train us to be the perfect parent! We do tend to parent as we were parented and many of us might either learn from the examples we experienced and parent differently or follow the same path. There are no rules and most parents try to do their best with the tools they have. I am a parent, I am sure my children have both positive and negative things to say about their upbringing!


In music we talk about inner hearing, giving ourselves time to hear inside our head a part of the music we have heard before, which might aid, with either memorising a part of a melody or giving a moment of silence to the music. Our inner voice, I think works a bit like that too, but it is not the music you memorise. It is the talk around us that is assimilated, over time and it would seem there are inner voice repercussions for us as we are nurtured through this growing process. The effects of this family scripting mould us into the people we are today, they become a part of our DNA… part of the family tradition. There is nothing wrong with that. It is what we choose to do with the person we are, having experienced these influences, that is interesting.

Should we change our inner voice?

We all have this inner voice. We can either move through life unaware of the family scripting we have experienced and live our life accordingly accepting both the positive and negative or we become aware and decide what we will keep and what we will change.  This is a conscious decision and can be very confronting, it takes courage to tackle that little voice within and say.. enough. I am not listening to you any more and I am going to change.

A positive and negative inner voice.

For me, the biggest challenge was that little voice that said.. I wasn’t good enough… any one else had that? Boy… have I worked on that one. Read books, gone to workshops, listened to tapes, meditated, even gone to India to an ayurvedic treatment centre. Of course it was not just for that little voice inside… but to explore “me” as a person too. There is so much to learn, not just about the lessons from school but who we are as “ourself.” I am not sure that we often give ourselves the opportunity to explore those personal possibilities. Should this become a lesson in the classroom, in our schools? Should our well being… our self esteem…what our inner voice tells us, be discussed? (Actually, I know there are programs in schools addressing these issues more and more.) Still we can ponder… What is the inner voice in our head telling us? Should be talk about it? Do we need to be ready to listen to change? There are lots of questions. What do you think?

Be kind to your self.

Life is about taking what we have and building on it and you are never too old to learn. My father always said that you must teach your children to be independent and I would add,to know your self as well. That is a life long journey.

Just a few thoughts. Be kind to your self.


Please leave a comment.

Thanks so much for dropping by.
best wishes,



11 Responses to “Our Inner Voice”

  1. Hi Jackie,

    Interesting take on Our Inner Voice and how the influence from our parents developes into our inner voice.

    • Thanks Ed always good to keep thinking, thanks for your comment. Best wishes Jackie

  2. Hi Jackie, I think it’s great that you are putting so much thought into how parents relate to their children. The kinder we are to ourselves, the kinder we are to our children. Hopefully then I our children will grow up to be kind too.

    • Thanks Marcus appreciate your thoughts I agree the younger we can develop that sense of our selves the better.

  3. hi Jackie
    Good message your site communicates! Oftentimes our negative inner voice brings us down and is our worst critic. Learning to love oneself and to be kind to oneself is a long and hard process at times. Took me a while to get there. But we have to communicate a positive message to our children so they start learning to be kind to themselves early on

    • Thanks Emily, great to hear from you. Yes I have been on that journey too. Sometimes I feel like I might have done so much more if I wasn’t bound up in that process. But it is who we are and that is OK. A positive message is very important, I agree. All the best with your site, thanks so much for your comment really great to hear from you. Best wishes Jackie

  4. Hi Jackie, nice message that you convey. The inner voice which can all to often lead to negativity can be very self destructive. I believe that positive affirmation plays a huge role in our lives. I guess having the inner awareness to control our inner voice is the key, thank you so much for providing such a valuable site, Mike.

    • Thanks so much Mike, great to hear from you. Yes having that inner awareness is crucial I agree. Good luck to you and thanks for your kind words.

  5. I do understand how things are influenced from parents to children base on their own daily activities but honest speaking, I really don’t know that is called INNER VOICE. I am glad to read this post. Thanks for sharing,


    • Thanks Seth for visiting all the best to you with your site. best wishes Jackie


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