Over the past few days I have been posting blogs about confidence. This concept is very dear to my heart as I have spent a great deal of time working on my own self confidence. Many of us have made this journey and I think the most important thing to remember on this pathway is that you have to be true and authentic to you and who you are and no one else can take that away from you.
Here are some Questions from my ebook to ponder about personal confidence.
How you respond to the following scenarios, will give you an indication of how personally confident you feel in a variety of situations.
You are at a party [you are not a wine drinker] where everyone is discussing different types of wine. If asked about your wine preference, do you laugh and say ‘All I know about wine is that it is either red or white’?
Do you pretend that you are interested in the conversation and hope no one asks you a direct question?
You are in a situation where everyone is talking about the best spice to use in a particular sauce [you never cook], and someone asks for your opinion. Do you laugh and say ‘I will have to check with Jamie Oliver and get back to you’ ?
Do you feel stupid? Do you feel the group will think less of you because you are not an experienced cook?
You are at a local entertainment spot and the karaoke machine appears – Your worst nightmare! Knowing that you are tone deaf, do you get up and participate, laugh at yourself ,and exaggerate how terrible your voice is?
You make an excuse and go home.
If you are at a musical event and everyone is clapping along, do you clap too?
Do you refrain from clapping in case you are out of time?
If you are playing a game in a large social setting, do you feel comfortable hollering out ‘Bingo!’?
Do you hesitate to call out ‘Bingo’ in case you marked a number on your card that was not called out?
If there is a mistake on your grocery receipt, do you feel comfortable discussing it with the store clerk?
Do you let it go so the clerk will not think you are cheap?
Do you make decisions based on what is right whether or not others agree with you?
To go with the flow, do you tend to do what you are told or others approve of, rather than what you think is right?
When something does not work out the first time, do you try to find different ways around it?
When something does not work out the first time, do you leave it unfinished and move on to something else?
When you are trying to learn something difficult, do you find someone who is good at it and ask him to show you how he does it?
When you are trying to learn something difficult, do you keep your frustrations to yourself and avoid asking others for help, because you do not want to appear stupid?
When you do something wrong, do you own up to it?
When you do something wrong, do you try to hide it?
If you chose ‘A’ in the above questions, you have confidence in that area. If you chose ‘B’, you are lacking confidence in that area for a variety of reasons. ‘B’ choices are associated with not addressing a problem, difficulties in stepping outside your comfort zone, and not believing it is acceptable if you do not know everything. ‘B’ choices also provide insight into your personal feelings of inadequacy, non-acceptance, disapproval, and unworthiness. Those who chose ‘B’ have issues with self-trust and tend to become peacemakers and not rock the boat!
Food for thought.