8 Tips for Achieving Confidence With Your Body

 

American model and fashion designer, Cheryl Tiegs, made headlines in February 2016 when she fat-shamed plus-size model Ashley Graham, who appeared on the front page of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit magazine. This led to a lot of backlash, where Ms. Tiegs later apologized.

Why is it that in this day and age, we are still hung up on what bodies are “supposed” to look like? It is no wonder that so many women, teens, and even men, get caught up in having the perfect body.

Here are some tips to help you achieve confidence in your body:

* Stop saying negative things about your body.

Your brain processes the words you use, and then this reflects negatively in your life. For example, if you are telling yourself that you are fat and are convinced that a man will never find you attractive, chances are that you are right. You may very well be a plus-size woman who is physically attractive, but your negative attitude towards yourself is what is making you unattractive to others.

In addition, when you get together with your friends, stop bashing your bodies. This gets none of you anywhere, and only serves to perpetuate the problem.

* Accept your body as it is.

When you accept your body and love yourself first, you will then be open to let others love you too.Feeling sorry for yourself achieves nothing positive.

Consider how lucky you are to have a body that allows you to walk places, ride a bicycle, and dance. There are other people, such as those with devastating illnesses, who cannot do the same things that you can with your body. There is always someone worse off than you.

* Exercise.

If you want to make changes to your body, consider cardio and muscle toning exercises. Exercise has the added bonus of releasing the “feel-good” chemicals (endorphins) in your brain that will improve your mood. Perhaps join a Zumba class or Belly-Dancing class, and enjoy the fun that comes with it.

* Don’t compare yourself to others.

The quickest way to unhappiness and lack of confidence is to compare your body to others. You need to stop doing this! Some people are blessed with good genetics, and may not need to work out as hard to stay thin.

* Acknowledge your body parts that you like.

Focus on your positive attributes, your breasts, eyes, and so forth and accentuate those parts. If you have a larger waist that bothers you, however, learn how to dress so that you can make it appear smaller or less noticeable.

* Realise that thin doesn’t necessarily mean healthy.

If you are a larger person who goes to the gym, there is a very good chance that you are healthier than your thin neighbor who is a couch potato. There are fit big people, and there are thin people with a high fat body composition.

* Talk to yourself the way you would talk to others.

Often, we are our worst critics. Instead, learn to pay yourself compliments and focus on what you like about your body and the clothing you are wearing.

* Be grateful every day for the life you have.

You might be quite surprised to realise that many people may admire you for a variety of reasons, they might not tell you, but they do. We all have our gifts and talents and it is such waste of your precious energy denigrating your self to your self… say to that little voice inside “enough I choose to like my self and am grateful for everything I have and the people who love me.” Start doing this and magic will happen.

Take good care.

Jackie

 

Some Secrets of Confident People

We all strive as parents to help our children to be confident it always helps to be confident in your self as a parent too.

When you think of confident people, whom do you picture? What makes you consider those particular people as confident? Perhaps you view confident people as natural and relaxed as they converse and engage with others.

However, most people who appear confident will tell you that it has not all come naturally. In fact, confidence is not something people are born with. It is something that develops from experiences in life.

In what follows, are the secrets to take you from an unconfident to a confident individual.

* Learn to believe in yourself

No one is exempt from the feeling of fear and uncertainty when exploring new waters. Even those who now appear confident, were scared at one time. The difference is in how they approach new situations. If you believe that you can handle anything that comes your way, your confidence will grow as you try new things. Remember this saying: “Whether you think you can, or think you can’t – you’re right.” (Henry Ford)

* Be able to accept failure

In order to get good at things, you need to take a step forwards. However, you need to realise that sometimes you might fail or fall down as you take that step forwards. However, as long as you get up again and use what you have learned from the experience, you continue moving in the right direction.

Along the way, you will also experience successes. Both successes and failures are important to learn from, and only by taking action, will you build your confidence level. Remember this. It is not about how many times you fall down; it is about how many times you get back up again. Practice makes perfect.

* Stop looking for the approval of others

If you are scared of what other people are going to think about you, it is hard to move out of your comfort zone. All confident people have had to move out of their comfort zones at various times in their lives. This allows you to try new things. Doing so, makes you feel good about yourself and improves your confidence.

* Be like a child again

Young children are amazing to learn from. They are not inhibited by fear or potential for failure. They charge on, and see every new opportunity as a learning experience. On the other hand, adults feel nervous when new things come their way. Why? Usually, because past negative experiences when they were teens or young adults are now clouding their perception.

Do you want to be on your deathbed saying, “I lived a life where I took no risks.”? Or would you rather be saying, “I have no regrets. Even when I was scared to try new things, I did them anyway!”

* Experience true happiness

Happiness and confidence go hand in hand. When you are happy with yourself and your accomplishments, confidence flows out of you. It is important that you do not seek approval from other people for your happiness. You must develop true internal happiness instead of external happiness.

Confidence: Are you confident?

We-are-what-we-thinkOver the past few days I have been posting blogs about confidence. This concept is very dear to my heart as I have spent a great deal of time working on my own self confidence. Many of us have made this journey and I think the most important thing to remember on this pathway is that you have to be true and authentic to you and who you are and no one else can take that away from you.

Here are some Questions from my ebook to ponder about  personal confidence.

Personal confidence
How you respond to the following scenarios, will give you an indication of how personally confident you feel in a variety of situations.

Question 1
You are at a party [you are not a wine drinker] where everyone is discussing different types of wine. If asked about your wine preference, do you laugh and say ‘All I know about wine is that it is either red or white’?

Do you pretend that you are interested in the conversation and hope no one asks you a direct question?

Question 2

You are in a situation where everyone is talking about the best spice to use in a particular sauce [you never cook], and someone asks for your opinion. Do you laugh and say ‘I will have to check with Jamie Oliver and get back to you’ ?

Do you feel stupid? Do you feel the group will think less of you because you are not an experienced cook?

Question 3

You are at a local entertainment spot and the karaoke machine appears – Your worst nightmare! Knowing that you are tone deaf, do you get up and participate, laugh at yourself ,and exaggerate how terrible your voice is?

You make an excuse and go home.

Question 4

If you are at a musical event and everyone is clapping along, do you clap too?

Do you refrain from clapping in case you are out of time?

Question 5

If you are playing a game in a large social setting, do you feel comfortable hollering out ‘Bingo!’?
Do you hesitate to call out ‘Bingo’ in case you marked a number on your card that was not called out?

Question 6

If there is a mistake on your grocery receipt, do you feel comfortable discussing it with the store clerk?
Do you let it go so the clerk will not think you are cheap?

Question 7

Do you make decisions based on what is right whether or not others agree with you?

To go with the flow, do you tend to do what you are told or others approve of, rather than what you think is right?

Question 8

When something does not work out the first time, do you try to find different ways around it?
When something does not work out the first time, do you leave it unfinished and move on to something else?

Question 9

When you are trying to learn something difficult, do you find someone who is good at it and ask him to show you how he does it?
When you are trying to learn something difficult, do you keep your frustrations to yourself and avoid asking others for help, because you do not want to appear stupid?

Question 10

When you do something wrong, do you own up to it?
When you do something wrong, do you try to hide it?
If you chose ‘A’ in the above questions, you have confidence in that area. If you chose ‘B’, you are lacking confidence in that area for a variety of reasons. ‘B’ choices are associated with not addressing a problem, difficulties in stepping outside your comfort zone, and not believing it is acceptable if you do not know everything. ‘B’ choices also provide insight into your personal feelings of inadequacy, non-acceptance, disapproval, and unworthiness. Those who chose ‘B’ have issues with self-trust and tend to become peacemakers and not rock the boat!

Food for thought.

Best wishes,

Jackie

 

Stop Worrying What Other People Think About You

 

Are you a people pleaser? Do you tend to say one thing to one person, but another thing to another person, just so that you can avoid conflict and seem easy to get along with? Would others consider you a pushover? Do you worry about making your own decisions without the approval of others?

If so, you may be too caught up in what other people think of you. Although all humans have the desire to be liked to avoid social isolation, the fact is that we are all unique individuals. It is never good for your happiness and confidence to be tied to the opinions of others. It is a sure way to erode your confidence, and it can only lead to unhappiness and the inability to be your true self. In fact, if you continue to be a people pleaser or pushover, you are only attracting the wrong kinds of people to you. It is time to become your true self!

image

So what are some things that you can do so that you quit worrying about what others think about you?

* Realise that what others think about you is none of your business

What? How could that be, you might be asking yourself. Remember this: You only have control over your own thoughts. Realise that you have no control over the thoughts and beliefs of other people. You are never going to be able to please everyone else. When you try to do so, the only person you are hurting and holding back is yourself.

* Make real friends

The easiest way to do this is by being your real, authentic self. You need to know what your values are, and what you believe in. When you know what you stand for, you will attract like-minded individuals, and real friendships will develop.

If you notice that your old friends are giving you a hard time as you try to make positive changes in your life, it might be time to move on as you make new friendships.

* When you worry what others think about you, you are being selfish and self-centered

You may never have thought about it this way before, but it is true. When you worry about what others are thinking about you, you are wasting your energy on the wrong things in life. Instead of focusing on yourself, try focusing on other people and your community. For example, volunteer somewhere that is dear to your heart. Or perhaps you can teach your children a new sport.

To sum it up, remember this insightful saying by Bernard Baruch: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

Always love hearing from you,

 

Best wishes,

Jackie

5 Tips to Reduce Shyness

Hermann_Kaulbach_Die_Schüchterne

You may feel quite confident in areas of your life, however you know that you need to work on your shyness. Unfortunately, shy people are unfairly labeled as appearing unconfident and unfriendly. While this is untrue in most cases, it can be worth the effort to work on reducing shyness. Doing so can open up new opportunities that may not have been possible otherwise in your work, personal, and social life.

Here are some tips to reduce shyness:

* Show concern for others

Shyness often results from worrying what others will think of you, and how they will respond to you. Instead, you need to change your focus from inward thoughts to the outside world.

In truth, everyone is struggling with something. That grouchy cashier at Woolworths may have just learned that her husband has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. When you take your eyes off yourself, your own insecurities and problems, and instead think about how you can help others by showing compassion, your shyness can melt away.

* Talk to others

Just begin by making eye contact and saying something as simple as “Hello,” or “Good morning” to people you already know (your work colleagues, your bus driver, etc.). You will be surprised at how many people will respond positively. They will also see you as more open, and more approachable.

Contrast this with the person who walks by you in the hallway, avoids eye contact, and says nothing. This person may very well be shy, but also does not appear very friendly or approachable (although the latter may not be true at all).

* Practice regularly

To build on the above point, practice talking to other people all the time. Begin by talking to people you know. Ask people more questions about themselves. Ask them open-ended questions so that they have to give you more information. This is in contrast to a close-ended question, which results in a simple “yes” or “no” answer. “Do you like this movie?” is an example of a close-ended question, whereas “What do you like about this movie?” is an example of an open-ended question.

As you get comfortable speaking to people you know, practice on people that you do not know. If you are in the shampoo aisle at your local grocery store, and are having a difficult time choosing a product, consider asking the shopper standing next to you for her opinion.

* Remember that strangers are friends that you have not met yet

Every great friendship starts with a stranger. Consider where some of your friendships have come from. It takes some courage to make a new friend, which means opening up to new people.

* Stop expecting perfection

Rather than fixating on “What could go wrong,” instead change your thinking to “So what if something goes wrong? I can deal with it.”

No one is perfect. When you accept that you may blunder when doing something that is out of your comfort zone, your feelings of shyness are not going to hold you back. Ask yourself what is the worst thing that can happen if things do not go the way you expect them to.

Best wishes,

Jackie

4 Ways to support Your Child Gain Social Confidence

 

The early school years are a time when some children appear to have a few social issues that become evident amongst their peers. It can be devastating for both you and your child when this emerges. Social skills are something that are learned, and rely on social cues and expectations. Some children do not read those social cue naturally.

Sometimes children may can be on the Autistic spectrum or have other comorbidities, and need support and guidance in negotiating their social world or it may just be a phase that your child is going through, and needs some coaching and parent modeling to develop better social skills.

Here are some ways to support your child child struggling with social confidence:

* Do not use information against your child.

If your child has opened up to you and expressed his fears and difficulties that he is experiencing, be sure that your child can trust you with that information. Do not use this information against your child when you are angry at something he has done.

For example, if you know that your child is having difficulty making friends, the last thing you would ever want to say in a moment of anger is, “No wonder you have no friends!” This may sound harsh, but some parents forget how words spoken in 5 seconds, can leave a child devastated for a long time. After all, if a child cannot count on his parents, who can he count on?

* Teach your child the importance of respecting personal space.

Children, who are socially struggling, can often be observed not understanding where their personal space ends and someone else’s begins. This can be annoying to their peers, therefore you may need to teach your child this important skill.

You can teach this concept by having your child stand a couple feet away from you. Have him/her move closer to you, and tell you when he/she feels that the distance is too close and uncomfortable. Show your child what your comfortable space is for talking to someone. You want to show your child as well that most people feel comfortable interacting with another person who is standing 18″ to 2 feet away from them. You can use an item of similar length to show your child what this looks like. Then have him/her practice maintaining this space when talking to you, others in the home, relatives, and other people outside the home.

* Support your child by teaching appropriate behaviour, expectations and consequences.

Teach your child that it is not appropriate to run around the room and be disruptive when someone else is talking, for example, explain to them that they need to respect other people’s  right to have a turn to talk and that other people will give him/her a turn to talk.  Make sure that you set consequences for poor behaviour and encourage good behaviour. Make sure your expectations are realistic when setting perimeters and you follow through consistently with consequences.

* Find an activity and place that your child is accepted & can excel.

It is important that your child make friends. Sometimes, school can be a difficult place to make friends. That is where social clubs, sports, art activities, church youth groups, etc. can play a huge role in improving your child’s confidence levels.

You may want to volunteer with your child at the local sports club or drama club… any where that your child shows an interest. When he/she might get busy learning new skills with a new group of possible friends, the emphasis is taken away from the social aspects of the interaction and new levels of connection can happen with a common interest. In extending your child’s social world can increase his/her confidence levels.

All the best,

Jackie

 

 

 

4 Ways to Lessen the Impact Social Media Has on Lowering your child’s Confidence Levels

 

Social media can be a good thing when used occasionally and carefully. For example, it is nice to stay in contact with family and close friends who live across the country from your family. However, when social media becomes a big part of your child’s daily life, then it starts to mess with their head. It can negatively affect how they feel about themselves and their life. You may not even realise that this is happening. It is not healthy to know what everyone else is always up to, as it causes your child to compare themselves with them. They start asking questions like, “Why can’t I and do what Mary’s doing?”, “Mary’s parents let her!”, and so on.

What are a few of the signs and symptoms to watch for that indicate that social media is negatively impacting your child’s daily life?

* Increased stress, anxiety, or depression
* Increased frustration
* Grumpiness
* Annoyance
* Comparing their life to others
* Thinking about comments others have made on social media, even when they are not on social media at the moment
* Jealousy
* Comparing your self to others. Eating disorders can result.
* Inability to part with their phone or computer, because they have the fear of missing out on something
* Most of their relationships or social life exist only on social media. They spend more time on social media than they do with people in real life.

If you have noticed that your child’s use of social media causes them to experience any of the above, it is probably time to re-evaluate things and make some positive changes. In what follows, are methods that you can use to lessen the impact that social media has on lowering your child’s confidence levels, and causing disruption of their thoughts and actions.

* Begin by recording how much of their time is  spent on social media.

How many times have you gone on Facebook to check one message, and you end up spending thirty minutes getting lost in some drama going on in someone else’s life? All this does is add to negative thoughts in your head… What if this is happening to your child? Therefore, you want to pay attention to how much time they are spending on social media. Remember that this is all time that you can never get back. Once time is spent, it’s gone forever!

* Next, place a limit on how much time they spend on social media.

Once you know how much time they are spending on social media, plan to decrease this time. You can do this slowly and gradually. You can set a time limit using the timer on your phone. When the timer goes off, you have to exit social media immediately. Eventually, you  child may find that they are skipping a day, and then a week without using social media. Be sure to notice how much “new” time they have found in your life, and how much happier they are feeling.

* Put away the phone, computer, or Ipad when you are at home.

This will be very difficult at first. Expect that it will cause anxiety and stress when your child is unable to check their emails or comment on the posts of others. This is normal. Instead, plan to spend  free and extra time doing something else you enjoy. Create special family times.  For example, this may be a good opportunity to read a book, or you can go for a walk or organise some sort of exercise. What you are doing is replacing one habit (social media) with one that is more positive (reading, exercise).

* Minimize your child’s social contacts on social media.

Reevaluate those people your child  has on their  contact lists. If they make your child feel angry, sad, jealous, etc., then suggest to them that you wonder why they have them on their contact  list in the first place? You might suggest to your child that they delete them, or minimize/hide the posts they share. If you might consider talking to your child about deactivating and closing their  social media accounts altogether. Start gradually by encouraging your child to spend less and less time on social media, and then they might work up the strength and courage to close their accounts. Encourage your  child to talk to their friends and family and let them know that they have decided to spend more time in the real world again, and that if they want to reach your child, they will have to do so using other methods. This might be something that you work through as a family, and discuss it as a way to improve the family well being.

By I, PRA, CC BY 2.5, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=2277670

Just notice those families traveling together on the train all on their iPhones totally ignoring one and other. Is this what we, as social beings are meant to do to one another???  Set a few boundaries in your family on the time spent on social media  and watch the results.

let me know how you get on.

Good luck.

Best wishes,

Jackie

 

 

 

 

 

6 Myths about Confidence

 

You want to have and experience confidence, just as much as anyone else does. However, it is also easy to trick yourself into believing that confidence is only for the elite and not something that everyone can achieve.

What usually holds people back is that they believe the myths about there about confidence. This article exposes the myths that you may believe, in order that you can realize what beliefs are holding you back.

Myth #1: You have to be good looking and successful to be confident

How successful and good looking you are has nothing to do with confidence levels. Many attractive and successful celebrities have admitted to lack of confidence in particular areas of their lives. What matters more is what you think of yourself and your abilities.

Myth #2: Confidence is something that you are born with

This is not true. Confidence is something that develops as you interact with the world. Just like you learn how to speak, write, and play your favorite sport, you can also learn how to develop confidence. You learn and develop confidence by participating in and tackling new challenges. When you succeed at things, your confidence increases. Confidence has to do with your belief in your abilities to do things.

Myth #3: Introverts are not confident; only extroverts are

Confidence has nothing to do with whether you are an introvert or an extrovert. There are confident extroverts AND introverts. The difference is in where introverts and extroverts draw their energy. Introverts tend to recharge through quiet time. Extroverts draw their energy from being around other people.

Myth #4: You can never develop confidence if you have had a bad childhood

Although confidence does begin to develop as a young child through childhood experiences, it is never too late to learn how to become confident. Although having a rough childhood can definitely impact your self-confidence levels, it does not mean that you have to remain stuck where you are.

You may need therapy to recover, but you will also need to develop the will to learn a new way of thinking and trying out new things. Your mindset plays an important role in developing the confidence you desire.

Myth #5: Confident people are confident in every aspect of their lives

This is false. Confidence varies depending on the situation. You may be confident teaching a dance class or a computer class, but you may lack confidence in social gatherings where you are required to mingle and speak to strangers.

Myth #6: Self confidence and self-esteem are the same thing

As previously mentioned, confidence in your ability to do things will vary depending on the situation. You may be confident in certain areas of your life, but not other ones. Self-esteem and confidence are not the same thing though. Self-esteem tends to be the same in all areas, and is more related to how you think about yourself and whether you value yourself.

If you have low self-esteem, it tends to follow you everywhere you go, resulting in less confidence to try out anything new. At the same time, there are some people with low self-esteem, who feel confident in particular areas of their life. Then there are those people who have healthy self-esteem, but lack confidence in other areas of their lives.

Developing Confidence and Resilience in your children

See what kids think about confidence

In today’s world with all the pressures put on families and our children at school with social media,working parents,  friendships, pressures to get on to achieve and so on… the emotional well being of our children can be over looked. Children can develop perceptions  that we as adults can be blithely unaware. Take the time to get off the treadmill  and make sure that you engage with your children, show an interest in the things they are interested in and talk and involve your self in their world. Make it a priority and show you care.

See what eminent professors think about resilience in our children.

Resilience is the ability to recover quickly from difficulties to bounce back and not to feel overwhelmed or “put down” because something has not worked out in our favour. Many of our children struggle with confidence and resilience and need support from those around them to develop these skills.

Confidence is the feeling of self worth, having faith in ones self and others, the belief that you can do well or succeed in something.

How can we improve resilience and confidence in our children?

Developing resilience is an ongoing process for a child, from the toddler falling over and getting up again… to learning to be a good loser in a board game or in a soccer game. Child development is like a big spiral that starts in little steps and  becomes more sophisticated the older they become. Teaching your child that there is no shame when something does not go their way is a life skill that will serve them well.

How can you do this?

Lets look at resilience and confidence together.

It is normal to have varying levels of confidence and resilience in different situations. There are also times when your confidence and resilience will waver and suffer as you go through life. This is especially true if you live life to the fullest, and put yourself out there. In fact, if you take chances and try new things, then you can expect that things will not always go your way. The only way to avoid failure is to stay in your house, and not try anything new, but what kind of life is that? Do you want to model that behaviour to your children??

Situations such as job layoffs, a relationship breakup, or a failing grade on a paper in school can drastically make you question your abilities, and negatively impact your confidence. How we cope with these sort of situations as a adults filters through to other members of the family and can effect your children with out you realising.

Fortunately, you do not have to let the negative things in life hold you back. In what follows, are ideas to bounce back when your confidence takes a hit.

1. Acknowledge your feelings –

This may sound rather simplistic, but it is true. You need time to process your feelings and what has happened, but you do not want to dwell on them for a long time. Otherwise, you will end up wallowing in self-pity. Ways to process your feelings can include time spent talking and visiting with trusted friends and family, or writing down your thoughts and feelings in a notebook. Make sure you tell your children that mummy or daddy are just working out their feelings at the moment and if you see us upset it is nothing you have done.

2. Get back into the ring quickly –

After you acknowledge your feelings, the key is that you not get caught up in those feelings for an extended period of time or they will wear you down, and keep you from growing in confidence.

Many people often think you either have confidence or you don’t, but the truth is that you can always continue to grow in your confidence in various areas of your life.

So if you have encountered a big setback, it is vital that you step into the ring again. It is the only way that you can improve your confidence, because the only way to win at life is to fail sometimes too. Wayne Gretzky, NHL hockey superstar, has a saying, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” This is a great reminder that the only way to get better at something is to go out and do it. Realise that failing is part of winning, and that the two go hand in hand. Make sure at the right time your children know this too.

3. Break big tasks down into smaller ones –

When you have experienced a setback, everything can seem so overwhelming. Remember the saying, “How do you eat an elephant?” The answer is, “One bite at a time.” Therefore, the aim to improving your child’s confidence and resilience is to work on it daily by mastering smaller skills that then lead to bigger gains.

It can be too easy to become disengaged…I hope my blog today might strike a chord and support you to remember that your family and raising your children is the most important job you have. So think about something that your child does well, and go out and do it. Before you know it, small successes lead to bigger successes, and confidence and resilience also improves.

best wishes,

Jackie

5 Tips for Raising Confident Children

The majority of parents want to raise confident children. This is an important goal to strive for as confidence learned and developed earlier on in life can impact on that child’s performance and coping skills as they grow up. Therefore, parents and the adults around them, play a very significant role in helping to nurture and develop their children’s self-confidence.

You need to realize that your children will run into situations in life that will chip away at their self-confidence, but if you continually help them build up their confidence, you can lessen the blow of these negative experiences.

Three Children Sitting In Wheelbarrow

In what follows, are ideas on how to do this:

1. Allow your children to be involved in decision making -

It is never too early to teach your children to make their own decisions. Decision making gives your child confidence to trust their choices, and to live with the consequences of what they decide.

With toddlers, you can allow them to choose what book they want you to read them at bedtime. You can let them choose what color of plate or cup they want to use for dinner. You can even let them decide on what t-shirt and pants they want to wear that day. At this age, however, you may have to engage in some serious negotiations as 2 year olds can be very definate about what they wear and wanting to wear the fairy dress may not be appropriate when its 40 degrees below freezing!

As your children get older, you can let them make bigger decisions that are consistent with their ages. For example, many children go through a stage of not wanting to wear their mitts or toque, because their friends are not. If they are not going to get frostbite, then let them make that decision. You may be surprised when next time they actually choose to wear their mitts and toque after realizing that they were cold the last time they did not use them.

2. Allow your children to take healthy risks -

Don’t be a helicopter parent, hovering at all times. You need to allow your children to spread their wings, giving them space to try out new things in a supportive and safe environment. For example, if you are at the playground with your young children, you want to let them play on the playground equipment while you stand nearby supervising and offering physical assist only when necessary to prevent injury. Not only does this help your children learn to become their own confident beings, it also helps develop necessary gross motor skills for sports and other activities as they grow older.

As your children get older, they may want to take the transit bus to the mall with their friends. Set a few time limits and as long as your children know how to use the bus to get there, and are safe doing so, this can be a great way to encourage confidence-building skills in your children.

3. Teach problem solving skills -

When your children come to you with problems they are dealing with, do not try to fix or solve everything. Instead, give your children the tools to guide them in making a decision. For example, if your child gets in trouble at school for playing a joke on a teacher, do not be that parent that immediately jumps to the defense of your child. All that teaches your child is that you will be there to dig them out of difficult situations that they get themselves into. Of course, let your children know that you will always be there for them, but teach them to own up to their mistakes and how they can prevent things like that from happening in the future. Thus empowering them to make informed choices.

4. Put your children in extra-curricular activities -

For some children, school can be a place where they are seen as different by their peers. Perhaps your child goes to a school where   volleyball is popular. However, your child may not like volleyball. It is therefore important to find an activity that your child enjoys and does well at, as that will help build his/her self-confidence. Sometimes, it can take a while to find out what that activity is, but when you do, it can make all the difference in the world to your child. This can also be beneficial in that it allows your child to make new friends outside of school, further enhancing confidence.

5. Allow your children to be around adults – 

It is often easier for children to interact with those their own ages. However, allowing them to interact with their parents’ friends and family such as, grand parents, aunts uncles, cousins,  is a good way to teach them confidence in talking with and discussing things with other people outside their age ranges. This exposure to family and friends increases their sense of identity and belonging.

My father always said ” The greatest thing you can teach your children is independence.”

Feel free to send me your thoughts. 

Best wishes, 

Jackie